Hello love and welcome to my space! I have had something on my mind for a while and I wanted to write about it, so here I am!
The beginning of quarantine hit me like a sack of rocks. The uncertainty, the isolation, the fear, the longing… it was all too much to bear. What started off as drinking to take the edge off, soon spiraled into drinking every night. Which led to binge eating every night. I was legit eating myself to sleep. During this time, I tried not to judge myself for acting in ways that were not conducive to being my best self and in turn, not showing up in the world the way that I needed to. I started feeling physically sick, going to sleep bloated and waking up bloated and swollen, which in turn led to terrible work outs, which in turn led to terrible mental health days. While I can say that waking up bloated and swollen is not ideal for me, feeling terrible, was what led me to wanting to change.
Before I move on, I feel the need to share a bit about how I absolutely ABHOR diet culture! I hate it so much! I believe that we all have inherent knowledge about our own bodies, and what we can do to feel our best! I want to put the stress on the way that I FELT more than the way that I looked, but there is no way to share with you the way that I felt then, versus how I feel now, so I use this before picture to give you an idea of what it felt like to be so bloated, swollen and uncomfortable. Moving along…
One day in late April, I woke up extremely hungover, I ran to my closet somehow thinking that I would be able to escape the pain of the hangover. I started sobbing knowing that I was not living in my truth and that I needed to change. I needed to get back into the daily habits that would leave me feeling light and clear. I needed to feel all of the pain of the world in order to show up and change it. I quit drinking at that point, which made the late night binge eating ease up a lot!
I wanted to share this for anyone that is going through a rough time and doesn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. We are a sum of our daily habits, for better or for worse. I want to encourage you to practice healthy habits, not to lose weight, but to gain confidence in yourself! Confidence comes from keeping the promises that we make to ourselves. The better we show up for ourselves, the better we can show up for others! I wanted to share some of the practices that have helped me find my way back to myself so many times!
Mental and Physical Health:
In order to start healing from all of the emotional turmoil that was happening within and outside of me, I had to FEEL. That meant that I had to stop numbing my feelings with food and alcohol and the process them. I cried a lot. I journaled a lot. I ran a lot. I danced a lot. I was still, a little, lol. All of those things helped me deal with what was going on internally and externally!
Tip 1: Love yourself exactly where you are. I know that it sounds counterproductive to love yourself exactly where you are if you’re not happy with where you are but I have recognized that it makes total sense. When you love yourself exactly where you are, it gives you the space to get to where you want to be.
Tip 2: Be gentle with yourself. Often times when we are on a fitness journey we beat ourselves up when we’re not reaching our goals or when we back step. I realize that that is not helpful for getting us to our goals. If you miss a day at the gym or eat something that is not conducive to your goals, don’t beat yourself up about it. Move on and say the next workout will be better or the next meal will be better.
Tip 3: Consistency is everything! I feel like this is pretty self-explanatory. I will say the more you move your body, the more you will desire to move!
Tip 4: Celebrate yourself along the way. You don’t have to wait to get to where you want to be to celebrate yourself! Celebrate yourself for making nourishing food choices! Celebrate yourself for getting that workout in!
Tip 5: Have fun!!! This one is super important! If you’re not doing something that you love as far as fitness goes find something that you love! Sometimes all it takes is getting a workout buddy! Life is too short to do workouts that you hate.
Tip 6: Remember your why! One of the things that helped me stay consistent was the memory of waking up in pain. I knew that I didn’t want to feel like that. Our reasons for starting (or restarting) our wellness journey may be different, but remembering why you got started in the first place is helpful when you have lost the motivation to continue!
My hope, when I share bits and pieces of myself, is that I can help someone heal, in turn, healing a little bit of the world around us. If you have any questions, comments, concerns, let me know! And until next time, stay fabulous, xo!